About 20 years ago, I had what I knew was a very profound dream. I remember it to this day because, as I look back on it, it was somewhat prophetic for me and has greatly influenced my life.
The Dream: I was a young woman living on a volcanic island and the island was exploding around us. There were flames, cinders and rocks flying everywhere. I remember feeling a great urgency to run from this cataclysmic event. Amidst much chaos, cries of fear and alarm, and upheaval of the ground beneath us, I remember yelling back to others over and over, “Bring Forward the Grandmothers.” I was with a young man partner and we were showing others how to form an arm seat between two people and then we descended the mountain, each two people carrying one of our elder women, as the mountain erupted behind us. End of Dream
Today, writing a blog post entitled, “Bringing forward your Wisewoman” had reminded me of this persistent theme in my life. It has been, metaphorically, a dream come true.
I’m sure that there are others out there who are reading this blog who have also had profound, life-influencing dreams. Does anyone want to share one and its impact on your life?
I have frequently wondered why the term wisewoman is not one of prominence in the language of our culture. The suppression and devaluation of all that is feminine under patriarchy comes up as the primary reason, but there is another side to that coin. Women as a whole have not named and claimed this word as a part of their evolving consciousness. For this reason, I am now frequently, consciously and vocally naming the wisewomen in my sphere and I include myself in that group. (I find it amusing that when I type wisewomen in this text it is underlined in red thinking it is a misspelling!)
It is perfectly acceptable to name oneself a wisewoman if it brings the concept to the forefront of our consciousness. This is an example of the power of naming that I have talked about previously. It takes some getting used to, but it is the action that Jean Shinoda Bolen calls on us to do for ourselves and others….”Bring forward the wisewoman archetype and use it consciously in both our written and spoken language.” This post will explore some ways we can do this and I hope you will add more to the list.
Bolen gives us some guidelines:
First, recognize that history has shaped our attitudes and inhibitions that we hold about ourselves. It is necessary to become conscious of what these are and replace limiting beliefs such as “I am not enough.”, for example, with a more-affirming ones like, “I am enough just as I am.” This personal work is what will allow us to grow beyond patriarchal box thinking and cultural attributions. It is time to trust ourselves and each other. As Pogo once said, “We have met the enemy and it is us!”
Secondly, recognize that patriarchal hierarchical thinking encourages competition among women which often leads to mistrust of each other. It is time to shed the male-identified woman model and come into one’s own power and join with other women to identify and celebrate our strengths. This requires the activation of the female ego subpersonality.
Culturally, the growth of women’s opportunities to play sports creates two competing forces. On one hand it can build teamwork and camaraderie, but on the other hand it can create a sense of the “other” when competing. Our ability to balance these two forces is what counts. We need both/ and to be whole.
Some questions to ask ourselves:
Am I a male-identified female? Am I operating according to masculine energy rules and perceptions? This topic is discussed in the prior “The Heroine’s Journey” Post.
Do I criticize other women or perpetuate the masculine energy eye view of them? For example, she’s ‘catty’ or ‘bitchy’. There are about 1,000 negative labels for women in our contemporary language—and many fewer for men. Google it and be prepared to be shocked and temporarily depressed as I was. I asked a friend if that was a topic she might write about from her lighter and more poetic perspective.
What lies beneath our language? Can we look more deeply at our language and assumptions relative to other women and reframe them? That exercise can get to be pretty funny but worth it as a consciousness raiser. “She has an active critic subpersonality up at the moment.” Why?” or “She is upset about something.” What is going on beneath the surface appearance? We disguise our discomfort with patriarchal dictates by mobilizing anger, shedding tears, or complaining, often not even recognizing the source of our distress. I am training myself to create “stop and think” moments when I encounter something said that makes me uncomfortable. Often it takes time to know what that, at its bottom, is about. As an example I have been “accused” of being politically correct. After much thought I have decided, no, I have a different level of soul evolution than some do.
What are we projecting or condemning in another and why? This goes for any relationships, not just those with women. How are they our mirror?
Label yourself and other women wisewomen and then flesh out what that term means to you. This is a wonderful way to bring forward the archetype for yourself and others. I am just beginning to do this. Maybe we can combine our efforts and make the term LIVE! Identify a wisewoman and make a list of qualities you feel that make her one. It may be yourself!
Be aware of how often we support and encourage or discourage and discount other women and ourselves.
What is our self-talk? Does it reflect patriarchal norms and expectations or is it positive, generative and life-affirming. Constructive criticism is important. It is a language art, however.
Are you aware of words and thoughts that go around in a perpetual loop through your head?
I find that women often suffer from the “perfection” daemon which comes from feeling ourselves to be “not enough” under patriarchy. We turn this emotion back on ourselves with self-reproach and feelings of guilt. This dynamic has very deep roots from the story of Eve. That is a topic for another post sometime.
What are some of your ideas and suggestions in these matters? Share them if you wish in the comment section below.
This is the work of a wisewoman. Bring her forward!!!