After my last entry, I challenged myself to come up with examples of feminine/masculine energies within myself, my relationships, the culture and the natural world. Here are a few anecdotes from my awareness that illustrate how the F/M Principle manifest. I hope readers will share some of theirs as well.
This is a quote from a novel I was just reading that struck me as an example. “Sometimes the magic of life is beyond thought. It’s the sparkle of intuition, of bringing your own personal energy into your music.” (creative feminine principle) “But don’t I need to worry about singing the right words - to the right notes? (structure giving masculine principle) The Childury Ladie’s Choir by Jennifer Ryan.
Another point of illumination of the nature of the masculine and feminine principles is that when placed on a continuum, masculine energy ends in destruction, of the self or others, and feminine energy at its end creates chaos. It is that seed of its opposite in each one that is the potential to bring the two back to the balancing process
One of the biggest qualities one must have is awareness of where one is on this ever-present continuum. I want to share an exercise I use when I am unclear as to where I am on this continuum at any given moment or when a disorienting issue arises.
Getting Clear
Step 1: Take a piece of paper and pen and list all of the things you are aware of about a particular situation and just list as many aware statements until you have no more. (Don’t think, just write from your inner knowing. Tune in.)
For example:
I am aware that I am an enabler.
I am aware that I feel vulnerable.
I am aware that I make both constructive and destructive choices for myself.
I am aware of my anger and hurt feelings.
I am aware that my anger protects me from my hurt feelings.
I am aware of wanting to create clearer boundaries for myself.
(This particular exercise took me 4 pages in length!)
Step 2: Take any one or several of these statements and write “I want” statements in the positive, for the most part.
For example: I do not want to be an enabler. I want to create clearer boundaries for myself. I want to identify what has hurt my feelings. I want to take care of myself. I want to make choices that support me.
(This can take a while but it is a major clarifying step so give it some time.)
Step 3: Each statement you have worked with in Step 2, create an “I deserve” statement.
I deserve to create self-protection for myself by choosing to have clearer boundaries and express them to others. I deserve to say “No.” I deserve to refuse to be an enabler. I give myself permission to express my anger in a constructive manner. I give myself permission to identify the cause of my hurt feelings. I am worthy of self-respect. etc.
(This portion can get a little more creative with the wording. Make it fit you.)
Step 4: Next, the “I will” statements that indicate the presence of your masculine principle energy that give action to the awareness that you have discovered in the process.
I will create clearer boundaries for myself by saying “no” and by speaking my truth in a given situation.
This is a simple exercise to address a, perhaps, complex issue but it brings great clarity and direction while strengthening the interaction of both our masculine and feminine capabilities.
“Healing occurs when we can have bifocal vision and deal with the separateness while maintaining a vision of wholeness. It is like a dance--both sides need to be actively engaged with each other.” Ann Langford.
The above quote came from my second example of how the M/F principles manifest. It is written by Ann Langford and is titled, “The Feminine Approach to Healing.” The author lists the many qualities she perceives in the feminine energy approach to healing and then lists the counterpart list from the masculine energy approach. Some of her many examples:
Feminine Energy Approach vs. Masculine Energy Approach
F: Looks at the whole, the entire person M: Looks at part of the whole
F: Recognizes the person is already whole M: Assumes the person is moving toward wholeness
F: Surrenders, lets go M: Converges, does
F: Creates a condition or environment or context a person works with for healing to occur
M: Others responsible, striving
F: Creates an opportunity to act, to participate in one’s own healing process
M: Lets professionals tell us what we should do
F: To be self-responsible, to unfold, and remember one’s own perfection Mas: Fixes
There are multiple comparisons given of the two, illustrating the yin/yang approach in medicine and healing. Ann states, “Wholeness in healing includes and blends both the strictly masculine and strictly feminine approaches.” Both are essential to getting better. They are not mutually exclusive but mutually interactive…...whole.
I conclude this part with a quote from Hans Selye, a noted stress researcher: “Some of the most fundamental discoveries in medicine have been and still are being made by people who use no complex machinery, but only their intuitive feeling for the way Nature works and a keen eye for what she camouflages". (Hans Selye, From Dream to Discovery, found in Norman Cousin’s book, Head First, pg. 202)